50 shades of grey, irl according to me.
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casey:
like, can you imagine how this looks to outsiders? Here's this ~***~**totallllllllly gorgeous billionaire who never brings dates to events and shit and like, EVERYONE thinks is gay probably because gets manicures and then heres some random ass, not really special girl and he's like: YOU ARE MY PURE VIRGIN BAWH BAWH BAWH LET ME FLAUNT YOU. I CARE ABOUT YOUR SAFETY. YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY. YOU. MINE."
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casey:
Like, I bet he's the laughing stock of everyone around him, tbh. If that many people think you're gay and fucking weird, its not mysteriously sexy or whatever...you're probably just realllllly fucking weird and I bet everyone is just looking at fucking audis all over town and being like: "who is this fucker and why does he love breakfast so much? Fucking rich people."